Bed Of Roses … No More… Perhaps Not
This song sung by Bon Jovi, “Bed Of Roses”, have stuck in my mind for quite awhile, as the chorus is pretty romantic. It goes…
“… I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails …”
How gallant! If only… Sigh!
Anyway, life is not a bed of roses and it can never be. If it is, enjoy and appreciate it to the fullest while it lasts because it will not stay for long. If it lasts, then you are definitely dead and are in heaven! 
On the other hand, Daisy Waugh in her book, Bed of Roses, relates Fanny Flynn’s interesting life as the new head teacher in a village primary school in England where she has her moments of ups and downs. Our life too has its ups and downs - i.e. a bed of roses with thorns here and there.
Falling in love, being together and getting married are always heavenly. The moment the honeymoon ends, couples face reality and this is where they would need to adjust, accommodate and be sensitive to each others ways and their families… especially watch out for the mother-in-laws. Mother-in-laws are not heartless. They just need to be handled with extra care and love… that’s all. These adjustments that every couple must make can either take a while or a whole life time! Hence, have a lot of patience and tolerance for everyone in the new setup. Sadly, more so for muslim brides.
A Muslim bride must be aware that she cannot compete with her mother-in-law in terms of hierarchy. She will always be placed 7th or 4th after her father-in-law, depending on the mortality status of her mother-in-law. The order of hierarchy is as follows :
1. Allah
2. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W
3. Groom’s Mother
4. Groom’s Mother
5. Groom’s Mother
6. Groom’s Father
7. YOU the bride
Hard to swallow… but this is reality and for a good and happy married life, this is a simple recipe. Do not be despaired, as you are promised the heavens if you follow His commands whole heartedly. I know… it is easier said than done. But try always, we must.
On the other hand, grooms must be fair and judge every situation wisely. Parents too must try to understand that life is not what it used to be. Give the couple space and let them adjust. Starting a new life as husband and wife takes a lot of effort, mentally and financially, nowadays. Hence, the couple need the love and support from their new parents as much as they need from their own parents.
Lastly, give the new parents (and own parents as well) the due respect. Love and care for them sincerely and unconditionally, as much as you love and care for your own. Hopefully, all will turn out well… on a bed of roses not on a bed of nails. Lalala…