A Few Rules For A Happy Marriage
It is a busy time of the year for weddings … school holidays. The moment the school closes its gates and children are back into their extremely laid-back mode, the wedding season begins.
What I love most about weddings and planning for couples is their wish to materialise their intense love they have for each other before God. Their shy eyes carry meaningful private messages to each other… even across a crowded room. How very cliche… but true. One other thing which never fails is, my eyes will well up with happy tears during solemnization ceremonies. No matter how hard I try to hold back, it… just… fills up! Strange… mind over matter does not seem to work.
Anyway, reality seems to set in before the newly married couples are ready to fend them off. They come in many different forms. Lo and behold, they have to work out them out together and adjust themselves… basically a lot of give and take, patience, respect and many more.
Now, what makes a happy marriage?
Imagine you want a beautiful garden. First and foremost, you need to plan what sort of garden that you want. Herb garden or a garden filled with different kind of flowers or a cactus garden, etc. Then, lay out the plan onto the garden bed. Next start digging, buy seedlings, plant them, water them, give them shade, give regular doses of fertilizers, trim and weed, etc. Also, talk to them. It takes a lot of hard work that comes from the heart and endless patience if you want to have a garden that is pleasing to the eyes and soul.
Similarly, it requires a lot of hard work for a marriage to stay long and happy. Nothing comes easy my readers. Fairytale marriages never happen in real life. We have fairytale weddings though… But that too, requires a lot of hard work prior to a beautiful event. So, c’est la vie.
I was reading “The Muslim Marriage Guide” by Raquyyah Waris Maqsood. She has put them very simply to readers which I find interestingly easy to understand. I would like to share the last chapter of her work with you readers and also our clients, A Few Rules For A Happy Marriage, which are as follows :
- Tell each other you love each other.
- Never both be angry at the same time.
- If you have to criticise, do it lovingly.
- Never bring up old mistakes.
- Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
- Neglect the whole ‘dunia’ rather than each other.
- Pray TOGETHER at least ONCE a day.
- Remember that behind every successful spouse is an exhausted partner.
- Remember it takes 2 to quarrel.
- When you have done something wrong, ADMIT it.
- At least ONCE a day, say something kind or complimentary to your partner.
- Do not go to bed more than 10 minutes after your partner.
- Listen when your partner is speaking.
- Remember that your spouse is more important than the TV/Sports/Video etc.
- Notice when your partner is wearing something new or has a new hair cut or hairdo.
- Remember anniversaries and important dates like birthdays.
- Thank your partner for their gift or effort on your behalf.
- Last one up, makes the bed.
- Notice when your spouse looks tired and do something about it.
- Never run your partner down or criticise him or her in public.
Meantime, if any of you are interested to read her work mentioned above, you can go to http://www.ymsite.com/books/tmmg/default.htm.
Enjoy and really work on it! 