“… I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails …”

How gallant! If only… Sigh!

Anyway, life is not a bed of roses and it can never be. If it is, enjoy and appreciate it to the fullest while it lasts because it will not stay for long. If it lasts, then you are definitely dead and are in heaven!

On the other hand, Daisy Waugh in her book, Bed of Roses, relates Fanny Flynn’s interesting life as the new head teacher in a village primary school in England where she has her moments of ups and downs. Our life too has its ups and downs - i.e. a bed of roses with thorns here and there.

Falling in love, being together and getting married are always heavenly. The moment the honeymoon ends, couples face reality and this is where they would need to adjust, accommodate and be sensitive to each others ways and their families… especially watch out for the mother-in-laws. Mother-in-laws are not heartless. They just need to be handled with extra care and love… that’s all. These adjustments that every couple must make can either take a while or a whole life time! Hence, have a lot of patience and tolerance for everyone in the new setup. Sadly, more so for muslim brides.

A Muslim bride must be aware that she cannot compete with her mother-in-law in terms of hierarchy. She will always be placed 7th or 4th after her father-in-law, depending on the mortality status of her mother-in-law. The order of hierarchy is as follows :

1. Allah

2. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W

3. Groom’s Mother

4. Groom’s Mother

5. Groom’s Mother

6. Groom’s Father

7. YOU the bride

Hard to swallow… but this is reality and for a good and happy married life, this is a simple recipe. Do not be despaired, as you are promised the heavens if you follow His commands whole heartedly. I know… it is easier said than done. But try always, we must.

On the other hand, grooms must be fair and judge every situation wisely. Parents too must try to understand that life is not what it used to be. Give the couple space and let them adjust. Starting a new life as husband and wife takes a lot of effort, mentally and financially, nowadays. Hence, the couple need the love and support from their new parents as much as they need from their own parents.

Lastly, give the new parents (and own parents as well) the due respect. Love and care for them sincerely and unconditionally, as much as you love and care for your own. Hopefully, all will turn out well… on a bed of roses not on a bed of nails. Lalala…

Time : 8.00 pm

Venue : Grand Ballroom, Nikko Hotel, Kuala Lumpur

(Kindly click on the TITLE above to complete the E-RSVP form. Thank you.)

The preparation for Nazliah’s Big Day started about a week or two, soon after her engagement on the 2nd February 2008. Her theme was 1920 England and her choice of colours were lilac, peach and cream. It was pretty daunting at first, as the engagement were simply superb. (Just scroll down and look for a title “An Elegantly Simple Engagement”.) In our minds, her big day must be equally as good or even better than her engagement, with some budget constraint. Planning and designing her day was exciting, as we have always wanted to do this particular theme with a twist.

Firstly, we got her suits tailored by the same person who did her engagement suit. Secondly, we booked the makeup artists who were, fortunately, available for the dates required. Now, booking for Henna Artist who makes home visits on the other hand was a nightmare. Somehow, it seemed that these ladies planned to have their babies at the same time! They were either in their late stage of pregnancy or in confinement period. After many unfruitful phone calls to almost everyone that we know and at the brink of giving up, Nabila was our savior. She was free, not pregnant and not in confinement period for the required dates. Phew!

Next, in the list was to design her printed materials and with some help from our designer they were “in sync” with her specially designed invitation card. We booked the caterer for her events and worked pretty closely with the decorator to achieve the right decor for her big day. Then there were sourcing for the bunga pahar, ribbons, etc. and meeting delivery datelines. Anyway, all ended well with lovely comments from the Nazliah and her father which we dearly cherish. Insyallah, the relationship forged will continue …

Thank you Nazliah and Izwan and both families. We also would like to thank you to all our vendors for their wonderful work. Can’t do it without you guys.

Last but not least, we would like to share with you some of the pictures we that took. May they be pleasant to your eyes as they did to ours after the hardwork.
INVITATION CARD

PRINTED MATERIALS/FAVOURS

BUNGA PAHAR

HENNA - 18 JULY 2008

TO THE VENUE

HANTARAN

THE PELAMIN & DECOR

LUNCH RECEPTION

CONGRATULATIONS

AND MANY, MANY, MANY YEARS OF BLISSFUL MARRIED LIFE

What I love most about weddings and planning for couples is their wish to materialise their intense love they have for each other before God. Their shy eyes carry meaningful private messages to each other… even across a crowded room. How very cliche… but true. One other thing which never fails is, my eyes will well up with happy tears during solemnization ceremonies. No matter how hard I try to hold back, it… just… fills up! Strange… mind over matter does not seem to work.

Anyway, reality seems to set in before the newly married couples are ready to fend them off. They come in many different forms. Lo and behold, they have to work out them out together and adjust themselves… basically a lot of give and take, patience, respect and many more.

Now, what makes a happy marriage?

Imagine you want a beautiful garden. First and foremost, you need to plan what sort of garden that you want. Herb garden or a garden filled with different kind of flowers or a cactus garden, etc. Then, lay out the plan onto the garden bed. Next start digging, buy seedlings, plant them, water them, give them shade, give regular doses of fertilizers, trim and weed, etc. Also, talk to them. It takes a lot of hard work that comes from the heart and endless patience if you want to have a garden that is pleasing to the eyes and soul.

Similarly, it requires a lot of hard work for a marriage to stay long and happy. Nothing comes easy my readers. Fairytale marriages never happen in real life. We have fairytale weddings though… But that too, requires a lot of hard work prior to a beautiful event. So, c’est la vie.

I was reading “The Muslim Marriage Guide” by Raquyyah Waris Maqsood. She has put them very simply to readers which I find interestingly easy to understand. I would like to share the last chapter of her work with you readers and also our clients, A Few Rules For A Happy Marriage, which are as follows :

1. Tell each other you love each other.
2. Never both be angry at the same time.
3. If you have to criticise, do it lovingly.
4. Never bring up old mistakes.
5. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
6. Neglect the whole ‘dunia’ rather than each other.
7. Pray TOGETHER at least ONCE a day.
8. Remember that behind every successful spouse is an exhausted partner.
9. Remember it takes 2 to quarrel.
10. When you have done something wrong, ADMIT it.
11. At least ONCE a day, say something kind or complimentary to your partner.
12. Do not go to bed more than 10 minutes after your partner.
13. Listen when your partner is speaking.
14. Remember that your spouse is more important than the TV/Sports/Video etc.
15. Notice when your partner is wearing something new or has a new hair cut or hairdo.
16. Remember anniversaries and important dates like birthdays.
17. Thank your partner for their gift or effort on your behalf.
18. Last one up, makes the bed.
19. Notice when your spouse looks tired and do something about it.
20. Never run your partner down or criticise him or her in public.

Meantime, if any of you are interested to read her work mentioned above, you can go to http://www.ymsite.com/books/tmmg/default.htm.

Enjoy and really work on it!
]]> http://redcarpeteventus.com/diary/?feed=rss2&p=27 http://redcarpeteventus.com/diary/?p=26 http://redcarpeteventus.com/diary/?p=26#comments Tue, 06 May 2008 16:15:36 +0000 zalia http://redcarpeteventus.com/diary/?p=60

We would like to share some of the photos with you. Thank you Nazliah & Izwan for engaging RCE, Man Kajang, Ayang, Nas, CS and Sajian D’Hidang for your event.

READY FOR GUESTS

FAVOURS

SUIT

HANTARAN

MINI ENGAGEMENT DAIS

CONGRATULATIONS!

We look forward to planning and managing your BIG DAY!

I really did not know what to expect when I made my way to Gurdwara Sahib at Titiwangsa on the Saturday morning of the 26 January 2008. This was my first experience in my entire life witnessing a wedding ceremony in a Sikh temple. It is for our client, Shyam (and Sangeeta). I must say that it was different from the weddings that Red Carpet Eventus normally plan, arrange and manage. I was intrigued by the whole event there and it was a very good experience overall. Thank you, Shyam and Sangeeta for engaging us to do your Sangeet and Reception.

As I walked into the compound of the temple with the sun shinning happily above me, the aroma of sweet and spicy delicacies tickled my nostrils. Guests and groom were having their breakfasts (and for some, probably their brunch :)) under decorated tents clothed in pink and white fabrics. They feasted on “gulab jamun”, cake, pakoras, coconut candies, tea and coffee for their morning spread. Like all weddings, guests were dressed in their best attire and our client… he was handsome in his traditional Punjabi wedding suit and on his head was a beautiful “head cover” (turban) with tassles of beads covering his face.

The temple is very much like a house with large pillarless seating area. At the far end of it, placed in the centre is a shrine/altar which holds the sacred “Book”. There are no idols in a Sikh temple unlike that in an Indian or a Buddhist temple or a church. Inside, the temple is fully carpeted, well lit and air-conditioned. The guests were comfortable. His little guests, however, were very comfortable to the extent that they were in lullaby land after a lovely meal and were oblivious of the ceremony. :). As for me, it is a good refuge from the scorching sun to learn and suck in knowledge!

Initially, I was sceptical whether I could enter the temple in my “tudung”. More so, I have different features than my client and his guests who have sharp features :). I could stand out like a sore thumb in the crowd! I was also afraid that I might offend the guests and the temple. Upon enquiring and much to my relief, non-Sikh guests are welcome to enter their temple provided they dress decently and cover their heads (both male and female) with a piece of cloth. In this respect, it is similar to the Muslim’s requirement for guests who enter mosques for prayers. Therefore, I was fine :).

I looked for the Bride but she was no where in sight! After awhile of walking all over the temple absorbing new knowledge first hand, I could see a car coming into the compoung looking like a Bridal car. The glimpse that I had of her in the Bridal car was that she was created to perfection - beauty and brains! She was stunningly beautiful! I like to watch Hindustani movies but this event, my dear readers, beats the movies as I could savour the whole thing … LIVE! Boy! Don’t I sound excited? Anyway, as she made her way into the temple, I could see all eyes gawked at her and much to my embarrassment, so did mine. I watched the groom closely and I could see that he was awed and proud that she is his … for better or for worse. From afar, his tender eyes looked at her lovingly and secretly they were detailing her and her every move.

The ceremony was conducted in English, except for the prayers. The couple were advised prior to walking around the shrine. These were simple but valuable advises for the couple to live together as husband and wife, till death do you part. The ones that I could remember apart from telling our client not to look with interest at other women (except for his wife, Sangeeta) were :

- Trust each other.

- Know what the other is doing (but not as policeman or policewomen. Hehehe…)

- Respect family.

- Live within your means.

- Live a simple life.

- If couple is faced with any form of problem, seek guidance from “Guru” (i.e. God) and not others.

Further, they were explained the significance of walking around the gaily lighted shrine (not fire as seen in the movies). It seems that for every walk around the shrine signifies the couple’s promise to Guru (i.e. God). Our client walked slowly around the shrine 4 times promising silently themselves as follows :

1st round - To perform the responsibility of married life.

2nd round - Speak the truth.

3rd round - Mind is filled with life and love.

4th round - Mind has become peaceful and couple has achieved their wish.

While the couple walked around the shrine, male members of the family (normally father, brothers, uncles and close cousins) who had arranged themselves equidistance circling the shrine gave blessings to the couple as they walked past each family member. Upon completion of this ritual, there were more prayers by the priestess and priest. The whole affair ended in the giving everyone present something sweet (a delicacy) to eat by the temple. Thereafter, everyone present each convey their good wishes to the couple. CONGRATULATIONS SHYAM AND SANGEETA from RCE!

I was told that the ceremony would take about 45 minutes max. but it took much …, much more. Nevertheless, like our client’s little guests, I was oblivious of the time and when I looked at the time on my mobile, it was well past noon when the whole event ended and I quickly said goodbye and made my way for an afternoon appointment with another RCE’s client. Mustn’t be late :)! Zoom… :).

Now, Sangeet is an event in a Hindu or Sikh wedding which takes place 2 or 3 days before a wedding reception. Sangeet is an all ladies event but nowadays we have men taking part in the singing and dancing as well. The Sangeet that we did had LOTS of singing and dancing. The food were scrumptious from finger foods of various kinds to rice and stuff. Everyone enjoyed themselves including us and the photographers! Really Bollywood style… our clients were really a matching pair both good looking and beautiful!

Enjoy the pictures which we managed to take prior to being too happy that day!

BUFFET STYLE STALLS

TABLE DECOR

PART OF STAGE DECOR

DECOR FOR THE HAPPENING AREA

Hence, we shall keep you guys posted on the upcoming events.. the 1st being a Punjabi’s Sangeet Event that we will be managing on 24th January 2008. What is “Sangeet” you asked… Hmm..thats something you should see for yourself to understand. Therefore, keep us in view for pictures and stories of the event… :)